Exploring God Through Text
Updated: May 2, 2019
JA: i feel like a lot of senior year is fulfilling like freshman goals that you forgot you wanted
NR: i mean i goddamn hope
JA: its like reminding u how silly you used to be // giving closure to it
NR: it gave me hope that I’m being silly still
and that ill have closure for those silly things
and the not so silly things too
JA: yUp
NR: big mood
JA: theres a goddam reason for everything
NR: i understand why deism is a thing
god the clockmaker gahdamn
JA: my mom low-key dropped that the reason my dad/grandmother are unhappy drifters in love is because they are godless people
and i kind of believed her
NR: i mean
savage
but also not totally wrong i think
like not necessarily god god but like something governing
JA: right, like knowing that you are beyond just your own life
NR: yep
i mean that even applies to people we know
JA: !!!
NR: maybe we just know it cause we went to/reject religious school
JA: i really do think that has a lot to do with it
we owe something somewhere
NR: exactly
but not like in a specific religious way
like someone like henry
who accepts most of it
JA: right like you gotta transcend the obligation part and figure out what it actually means for ur place in the world
NR: ya like beyond all the rituals and stuff
and more about like personal things
and “contracts” etc
JA: i just freakin hope people get that sooner than later
NR: same here
i think some will
most will
it’s just a matter of like what it’ll take
JA: truth
because I’m lowkey still saving myself for Henry in some twisted way for when he’s a fully formed person
like never left the back of my mind
I’m sure u can relate
first love, babeeey
NR: i ABSOLUTELY relate
thats the problem with becoming a person early
JA: !!!
but like i will wait as long as i have to
no rush
NR: me too
not even to interact
because we gotta all keep moving in the meantime
otherwise ya never know how long you’ll wait
but at least to see
we hope to experience it but at least to see it
JA: right- knowing that it’s always gonna be there is enough
whether that comes when I’m 18 or 80
NR: just gotta live in the back of the mind
also the front a little
it ebbs and flows
JA: yep, and other people will teach us other things about ourselves/themselves and we get a little closer
NR: exactly
to like whatever the endgame is
and it might not be what you think
JA: full fuckin circle
i think I’m healed now
ima go quit college and make wine in the mountains
NR: thats like the cleanest anything could ever be
JR ATKINSON and NOA ROSENBERG, Spring 2018
artwork by LILY SPERRY