Updated: Jun 25, 2019
The Nitty Gritty Details
1: Make your way down, kissing is lovely
2: Get to the vagina
3: Use your tongue to find the clit, you’ll know when you’ve found it because if feels like a little bump.
4: lick it to high heaven.
5: (optional) lick clit and finger vagina at the same time (or whip out a toy).
The Inner thoughts while being eaten out
Oral sex for females can take some time to enjoy, as it should though, because the very first time you have somebody’s mouth on your vagina - it’s the weirdest feeling. Just think about that in an obscure way. When did that start happening? When did that start being a part of your day? It’s also weird because, innately, that act of somebody just licking down there isn’t hot. It’s disgusting --in theory. A person wants to put their head where you carry your darkest secrets? So, moral of the story is, you have to work up to it. But, once you figure it out, it will be literal bliss.
Was it always “literal bliss”? No! It really is not. The first time is weird - it’s like your having the naked dream except it’s real life and someone’s face is in your pussy. At first, the feeling can be so strange and you just want it to end. After some practice, you will probably start to enjoy the feeling of it, but know that it wouldn’t get you off. It’s kind of like, “time for me to perform”, “here’s where I pretend to have fun”. But, don’t give up! It WILL change from, “I enjoy this” to “I am going to blow”. That shifting point is a change in your mentality. Orgasming, is all about if your mind is there. The idea that your partner is just down there isn’t enough. You have to send yourself far far away mentally. Try thinking of an erotica in your head. Additionally, you have to overcome any lingering nerves of letting yourself be exposed totally down there. And to do that, taking yourself out of the situation (by imaging a difference scenario can help). Most importantly though, trust your partner. If you start having oral sex once trust is established, it’s way easier to come from it. If you are comfortable, you are setting yourself up for success.
The key is also TIME. Often, even with a lot of foreplay, it takes ten good ass minutes of them being down there. Also, don’t be afraid to say “Right, left, up, down” - make sure they are in the right spot! Because, if they aren’t, it’s a waste of their time and yours. It takes a long time, and women often feel guilty about this. Thinking, “It’s a me problem, I should be able to come faster, this is taking forever” is common but just leads to feeling... bad. Feeling like your partner doesn’t want to be down there for long, is a terrible feeling. Often it isn’t until a conversation is had, that women are able to realize that their partners LIKE pleasing them. Your partner wants to pleasure YOU - it turns them on to be able to do that. And if they don’t, then they probably are a pretty shitty partner. Even more so, they probably feel GUILTY if you aren’t coming and they are. A lot of people have trouble allowing themselves to be pleasured. They feel selfish about it for some reason, especially women. We feel self conscious, and as if we are asking too much - which is NOT the case!
Anyways, it’s pure bliss once you figure it out. Try thinking of an erotica, think about someone else (really the key) Or try using your vibrator to get you started.
It also helps to take short breaks in between so your partner can say things to you - this is a big turn on. Even more so, it is very feasible that your clit gets very over stimulated from it going on for so long. So , it can be helpful to take a break to not overstimulate and instead, push you over the edge.
Artwork by Maia Rubin